Go Forth

Happy March 4th, or as I like to say March Forth Day!  A long time ago in a world that sometimes seems so far away but also a lot like yesterday, some friends and I coined this phrase as a sort of New Years redo.  I am sure we were not the only ones so clever to use this play on words in this way, but we were barely even young adults in the mid-1990’s and we thought it was cool.  Anyway, March 4th has since become a yearly day of hope, a day to think about what we really would like from life and reset from any broken New Year's resolutions and get past the hump of the colder drearier months to begin the Spring a better version of our previous selves.  I don’t quite recall some of the goals of those early years, I’m sure they involved hanging out with friends and learning to become more independent (not that our generation needed more help with that).  As I became older I saw it more as a way to let go of negative beliefs or seasons and start fresh in a more loving way.  

The day usually coincides with the lent season, so giving something up or setting a goal always seemed easier due to my once practiced Catholic faith.  I could usually stick to any idea for as long as 40 days: no chocolate, a fad diet, purging the apartment or house of items no longer needed.   The goals had an end date and that is much more achievable to me in some way.  But lasting, permanent change has to come from a bigger desire than just choosing something to check off of a to-do list just because it is the season to do it.  It probably has a lot to do with why we lose the willpower to stick with New Year's Resolutions and why we don’t keep new habits after Easter.  

March 4th, on the other hand, is just one day, and if you are lucky (like I am this year) it's a sunnier warmer day filled with hope and new life.  Birds picking worms in the yard, buds forming on the trees, new green things popping up from the ground asking us to begin to think about shaking off the hibernation period of winter and begin to come out and play again.  It’s permission to think about who we want to emerge out of the cave now that it is safe to go outside again.  It’s a personal choice, a desire, a big wish towards a better you.  That’s why I think March 4th has always been a better indicator of change for me, it’s the change I want to be.

This is the time of year I knew I was done teaching, the time of year I began to shake off a big depression, the time of year I decided to go back to school, the time of year I learned about mindfulness and meditation in new and bigger ways.  It’s the same time of year I let my husband go to a different part of the country for work, so we could begin the next chapter of our lives together.  It’s the time of year that I learned that I am the creator of my life and the following year about my life’s purpose. 

Last year my goal was to work on not caring what other people thought of me as much.  Based on my children’s eye rolls at the grocery store when I start dancing or singing along to the Muzak, I’m doing much better than this time last year.  I have released a lot of negative beliefs about body image and what others think when they look at me, I know my truth.  I’ve worked on setting more boundaries and learned to speak my mind more.  I have even told more people of my intuitive gifts and ability to channel with mixed reactions but almost zero shits given if they look at me strangely.  I have not completely released the part of me that cares, but I have come a long way from the people pleasing, smile-and-nod person constantly looking for approval.  

Now I don’t know if all of that coincides with my age,  perimenopause hormones, or March 4th.  Frankly it doesn’t matter, mission accomplished!  March 4th is not about perfection, it's about a start in a new direction, a pivot towards a better version of you than you were before.  Just one foot in front of the other, slowly marching towards the you You want to be.  

This year I am looking to be more creative.  I’m not saying that I am not already creative, just that instead of saying what I’m going to do or reading about becoming more creative and why it's so beneficial to tap into that part of ourselves, I actually want to do more of it.  So today, I write…tomorrow I might paint or make up a song.  I could just sit down with my spirograph and doodle…who knows I might actually get more work done on making the website I post this on.  Doesn’t matter, each drop in the bucket gets me that much closer to my next best ME.  And I won’t let myself off the hook, because it is my heart's desire and it brings me closer to joy!

***Obviously this post was first written on March 4th, and although it is being posted on May 4th and read who knows when, the principle still applies...it's never too soon or too late to keep moving forward!!!