Less is More

The amount of undue pressure we put upon ourselves as humans is overwhelming.  If we remember to think of ourselves as mammals, we might stand to reason that we would never expect another species, let alone another human, to do the amount of things that we put upon ourselves to accomplish in a day.  I am so tired of the motivation industry/self help people explaining that you have to work harder, put in the hours, and do everything you possibly can every waking hour to achieve the life you want.  While I am under no illusion that results take effort, I AM under the belief that we have been sold a bill of lies on how much effort is necessary in a day to live a happy life.

I hear myself on this rant right now, but bear with me for a moment. As I find myself embarking on starting this new venture into self employment and researching how it is accomplished I have been turning to others who have gone before in a variety of mediums.  While reading spiritual books about new age thinking and watching videos about people who have made it work in this new internet economy I managed to get lost from what I had been witnessing and learning on my own path over the last few years.  The flow-energy that allows for everything that needs to be accomplished in a day happening with ease fell away from me for a while as I began to become entrapped in the belief that I should go back and buckle down and make things happen for myself if I want anything good to happen.  Wasn't that the exact life I was trying to get away from???

You see, for a very long time I was a (read: a recovering) doer, people pleasing, perfectionist type.  This personality can be very prevalent among our population.  While it can be quite satisfying to feel like you are helping keep everything together,  it sure does put a whole lot of unnecessary stress on the body.

It is no wonder why we walk around with constant cortisol rushing around throughout our fragile selves as we live in a world that has our brains in a constant state of flight or fight.  Eventually though we cannot continue keeping up these crazy paces and high expectations without making ourselves sick, both mentally and physically.  The expectation that we are fed to “do do do” in this world is making us ill and thankfully more and more people are being brave and discussing the burnout that comes from trying to keep up and achieve in the world we were taught to live in.

I am here to remind myself and others who are ready for a change that it isn’t the doing that is actually important in this life, it is the being we are here to experience.

As someone who has gone through the burnout and the aftermath (another conversation for another week) I eventually learned about the ease of a day lived in flow. Do you know what I discovered…often the more relaxed and slow I kept my day, the more space was created in it to accomplish everything that needed to get done with some extra time built in for my Self, as well as quality time with my family and pets.  I spent time living this truth and watching life just suddenly fall into place.  I would leisurely get up in the morning and go sit outside with a cup of tea or coffee and just breathe watching the birds and squirrels having fun in my yard.  I would sip slowly and enjoy the trees swaying in the breeze and then wander inside to accomplish some chore that I could barely remember doing because I was in such a relaxed mood.  I’d then be moved to do some reading or other enjoyable activity, have a conversation with one of my kids while cuddling a pup and then whip out a meal, type up an assignment, sit out on the patio with a fire and marvel at how it was only 7:30.  Please note that I am aware that this sounds like I don’t do very much with my life, but I assure you I was employed with a full time job, had two teenagers at home, was responsible for the bulk of the housework and grocery shopping, as well as taking classes for my certification at the time.  

I am not completely sure of the exact day my life went from running around like a crazy person, spending every weekend super cleaning, paying bills, shopping and planning for the week ahead only to dread Sundays continuing on the treadmill week after week circling the calendar for holidays, to living everyday feeling like I was floating through it and finding the peace I had been searching for my whole life delivered each day.  It was real though, I swear it!  Sadly, however,  I have recently forgotten how again. 

As I have been placing pressure to get everything in order to start this venture and get it up and running, I have fallen back into old habits of expectation and getting things accomplished.  I have been beating myself up for not giving myself more grace at learning so many new things at one time.  I would never expect others to do the things I am asking of myself, but here I am again, locked in a battle of the doer mentality. 

Today, I felt a nudge to go back in time to when I first discovered the less is more approach and  I took my coffee outside for the first time in a good while, stopped, and remembered to just be. I put the advice of the “gurus” back on the shelf, took some deep breaths and asked myself what the one thing I really wanted to have done by the end of the day was.  Next thing I knew, I had done a couple of chores, talked with my son, took 10 minutes to give one of the pups a much loved belly scratch, played a game with the other pup of find and seek, and helped my husband fix the dryer vent.  I then sat down and typed this post after writing in my gratitude journal and doing a channeled message for myself (FYI, “Rome wasn’t built in a day!”) and it's only just after noon time.  I am excited to see what else this day has in store and I refuse to plan a single thing for it! 

“Nature is not hurried, yet all is accomplished”…that is the mantra I must remember to use for myself if I ever wish to convince others that it works…It’s what I would tell you, so I am remembering to tell myself, today!