Questioning Flow

What? What? What?  Why Why Why???  I have filled my head with these questions for so long that I forgot why I even wanted the answers.  The big questions, the little questions, life questions, purpose questions, mundane questions like “what’s for dinner?”.  We ask because we feel the need to be driven in some direction.  We want to know we aren't walking mindlessly through life, but isn’t that just the thing we are supposed to be doing.

If we go through life second guessing or become so obsessed with the "whys" and the "whats", we forget to be in the moments and we get out of flow.  I call myself the “intuitive friend” but intuition isn’t a long term solution.  Intuition is an in the moment vibe or feeling, it helps you in the moment and only in that moment.  My gut will tell me when to go into a building, or down an aisle in the store.  It will inspire me with the next best thing to do, or even tell me to reach out to a friend or family member but it has never told me what to do next week or even tomorrow.  Those are nudges and goals…both important, but not flow.  Without flow, intuition has no audience.

So when we find ourselves in the planning stages and the pull to try and figure out the next paths or even steps to follow, we somehow forget to live in the now.  We forget that the right thing to do is to slow down, shut off the noise both around us and in our heads and quiet our souls.  For it is when we remember to breath and stop that we actually not only find ourselves, but we actually find our way again.

The hardest thing I’ve had to learn on this path so far, is to relax and let go of the control that we think we have.  To release the need and desire to know what new thing is coming next or to make a list and follow through on it.  The perfectionist in me screams and the planner hyperventilates, but the inner me…the one that’s always sitting just below the surface somehow lets out a sigh of relief.  

The stress and anxiety of making sure all of the boxes get ticked off, or all the chores are done before it’s time for fun has a habit of squelching our joy in life.  The ingrained need to please others or fit some old time misplaced belief that responsibility and duty should come before our own needs creates a life of clenched teeth and shoulders that drift above our earlobes.  This brings on feelings of resentment that we didn’t have anytime for ourselves in our day and the fun pastime of “Revenge Bedtime Procrastination”, which only leads to regret and tired mornings along with caffeine infused afternoons.

Meditation and the art of just sitting and staring off might seem like hokum and woo woo to the untrained eye…or wasted time and laziness to the more driven observer.  However, I can speak from a place where I was hyper driven and constantly putting others' needs ahead of my own to the point where even though I have learned the art of flow and its benefits that it was so ingrained in my cells that without noticing, unawareness of my own needs can often creep back in.  I still fall off the path of least resistance and go back to these long seated habits for no other reason than simply running on autopilot. Taking time for ourselves though, if even for a quiet walk, somehow allows time for all the duty and “responsibility” of life to still factor in, just with less soul crushing heaviness and more heart centered light along with a more intuitive approach.

If you can learn to put your own desires above other things, and somehow quiet out the background noise and nagging feelings that you are neglecting responsibilities, then the stuff that you “should be doing” actually presents itself…eventually and often effortlessly.  You might find yourself more joyful because you spent a half hour working on a favorite hobby so you put on music while you prepare that dinner or empty the dishwasher.  This then leads to happy dancing or singing while you mindlessly complete a mundane task.  Suddenly, you are actually more happy after you tidy the kitchen or dance vacuum the house.  

This can sometimes feel easier said than done.  The only way I have been able to break through the conditioning was to literally schedule this time, at first.  The other trick was to practice sitting for just moments at a time.  Start with 5 minutes and eventually work your way up.  The “take 5” part can be daunting initially, however, if you are kind to yourself and remember that learning to cut out the chatter in your head is actually quite hard you’ll have an easier time sticking with it.  I could not sit down to meditate in the beginning without the aid of a guided track on YouTube or some binaural music set on a timer for longer than I would like to admit.  However, practice and patience are keys to successful new habits for a good reason…they work.  Eventually, you may even find yourself setting that timer and becoming amazed that it went off 15-30 minutes later even though it feels like you just sat down.

My last piece of advice for getting back to flow comes back to a point that I continually bring up in these posts, but for reasons that are too many to dispute…this all works best outside and especially in nature.  Whether it be the fresh air, the healing properties of hanging out with trees, the grounding power of Mother Earth below your feet, the cleansing strength of ocean waves,  the wonder and awe of the moonlit sky sprinkled or plastered with stars (depending on your light pollution), or the magic of Gaia’s vistas-it seems to me like she is here to help us find our way back to ourselves.  

So you can take your morning beverage and sit outside, go for a walk on your lunch break and notice the world around you, bring your computer outdoors vs the desk, or even take the last half hour of your day under a blanket with the stars instead of watching the news or mindlessly scrolling.  Remember to do it for you, not because it is easy or because you’ll find all the answers to your "whats" and "whys", but simply because you deserve it.