Seasons of Love

As we have officially turned the clocks back this weekend I guess I have no other choice than to admit that the fall/autumn season is not only in full swing, but it is also the gratitude attitude season sprinkled with whispers of holiday cheer sneaking in for an early peak.  I can’t say I’m disappointed as I pack away the more witchy attire from my October fest of drying herbs, roasting squashes, and blanching any remaining vegetables from my garden that I couldn’t stuff with cream cheese and wrap in bacon.  I can, however, be surprised at just how quickly this special time of year has snuck back up again into our world.  

I absolutely love the season of wishing the people that I meet out and about while running my errands a “Happy Holiday” while smiling even bigger than usual and being extra nice to all of the retail workers and restaurant staff that I come across in my travels.  I have for years enjoyed the giving season knowing the joy I was bestowing on my loved ones for finding that perfect gift they didn’t know existed or baking some yummy confection.  All of which are done with a heart full of love.  

I grew up in a very large family with some very large traditions that made the fall and holiday seasons part of the most magical and special time of the year.  And even though the presents were amazing and a childhood highlight, it was always the little things that were repeated year after year meshed together with our extended family that made the season so special.  Massive card games after Thanksgiving dinner, family coming over the weekend before to meal prep the  holiday feasts,  my sisters and I singing loudly and off-key while filling our mother’s heart and watching our husbands and father flinch as we teamed up to bake cookies or flour the kitchen.

Even though I have moved far away from them all and I don’t make it up for the holidays nearly as often as I used to or would like, I still carry those moments with me as I move through the season and attempt to pass some of it on to my own family.   I have tried over the years to adapt some of our own spins on the season as well, with slight modifications as the kids became young adults and our mindsets around what makes holidays special have changed.

This year as I begin to switch out my Halloween decor for my turkeys that will quickly be switched out for Christmas I can’t help but to take a pause and think about the state of the world at this moment in time and what that means for so many going into the festive season we are about to embark on.  It is not lost on me the privilege I have to not only be able to decorate for holidays, but also to enjoy them with my family in a manner that is more comfortable than so many others in the world right now.  

I could very easily go to war with myself over how selfish it is to celebrate in our usual way while there are so many others that are not in any position to feel festive or cheerful about the season we are embarking on.  I could get mad at the corporate greed and commercialism that has taken the later months of the year hostage. I could get angry about the unfairness of the wealth distribution or the inadequacies of those who are in charge of making sure we live in a world of inclusion and fairness.  I feel all of this in my bones.

I could just as easily tune it all out and stay in my cozy home and conduct business as usual going through the motions of making everything in the world of my family feel as normal as possible.  There is a comfort in keeping things the same when the world around you is falling apart and you don’t know what else to do.  I feel this in my bones as well.

Something tells me that this year, I will be playing both sides of the fence.  And although it feels a little early to even be thinking about the holidays let alone writing about it…I think the fact that everything is moving so fast makes me feel like I need to address this sooner than later.  As much as my love language is to go with the flow, the fact that we are in a historic period in time bears weight on my soul right now.  

I am currently trying to work on finding my own joy and being authentic to mySelf before putting others needs above my own and if I am going to honestly do that, I truly have to reexamine this time of year for myself and attempt to look past what I inherited from my family, what the state of the world is, and even what I have always just done in the name of it being easier than trying something new.  

I believe in my heart of hearts that the best thing we can do for our world/planet/humanity is to add more light to the world.  I refuse to turn a blind eye to what is going on around me, but I know that my brand of light is different from someone else's and it is for none of us to judge which is more or better than.  I will be doing a lot of self reflection this fall and feeling into myself to discover the ways I truly want to celebrate this holiday season versus what society and tradition has taught me to feel.  I will take into account the desires and wishes of my loved ones as well because family is still an important part of it for me.  But mostly above all else I will look for the peace, the joy, and the love as well as my opportunities to find some of the light and give some back, openly from a loving heart.